I am a Mother.
No, even when I write it down formally on this blog it still doesn’t feel entirely real.
My 8 month old daughter Lara is tucked up in her cot bed in the next room as I type this. Every so often I hear her stir and make a little noise and instantly I prepare to drop everything (macbook pro included) and run to her if she needs me…or more likely just needs someone to pop her dummy back in.
Its crazy to think that the majority of my time since August has been devoted to this little baby girl. I have spent each day watching her personality develop and learning to decipher each and every one of her needs. Well as best I can, I am convinced sometimes she is just moaning for something to do.
The months have passed by in a blur. We have endured the sleepless nights, nappy explosions, breastfeeding dramas and the hell which is teething and I can honestly say I don’t remember any of it negatively.
I remember finding myself in a ward with 2 strangers (plus their new babies) in the middle of the night and whilst encouraging my new daughter to feed for the millionth time (just to be sure), realising I should change her nappy again. ‘Should I have already done it a few times? No-one has said anything. I don’t think I can smell anything. How do I know?’
…and so it began. My new life as a parent. Always questioning whats right and wrong. Stressing about which brand/style/design of milk/nappy/dummy/bottle to buy. Worrying about how many layers of clothing baby needs? Filling a changing bag with everything we could ever possibly need (just to pop to the shop) and fretting about whether it’s ok to let her play with that phone/remote/crisp packet.
I won’t lie, it really is hard work, but you know what? It’s so much FUN!
Every smile, giggle, gurgle, cuddle and new development makes it worth it and I can’t wait to find out what comes next!